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24 December 2008

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Quizmeister

Mostly A’s

Clerical fascist, you are indeed, you rabid god-bothering theocrat. Here’s some advice – calm the rhetoric a little, put on your nicer face, play your cards right (if you’ll excuse the expression) and you might get a bit of Government money diverted your way as the kind of community leader who might just stop the badder boys from murdering their fellow citizens. And you may be invited to give the Christmas address on Channel 4!

Merry Christmas!

Mostly B’s

A fellow traveller, merely. Aren’t you the lucky one – plenty of writing in The Guardian for you, even a post as an associate editor, and Verso will publish you. And you can feel like a culturally open anti-imperialist kind of progressive as well, sensitive to the Other’s grievances .

Merry Christmas!

Mostly C’s

You poor bastard. There you were, thinking that some things – women’s rights, secularism, freedom of expression and all the other Enlightenment stuff – were the normal currency of your kind, and suddenly, everyone has switched to the theoeuro and you’re wandering around in total bankrupt bemusement. Your comments at the Guardian CIF pages get deleted. To your horror, you’ve started to find sanity in The Times and Daily Telegraph. You antiquated theophobe, you. No future, I’m afraid.

Merry Christmas!

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