Phyllis Diller has died. As someone who cleans the kitchen floor when my feet stick to it, I always liked her anti-housewife routines.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Call your house "lived-in" when it's really "no survivors".